Dear College Success Coach,

I’m moving away to college this week and I’m excited, but I’m also really nervous. I’m really worried about making friends. I have a solid group at home, but now it feels like I’m starting all over again from scratch. How do I put myself out there without feeling awkward or out of place?

I’m also freaking out a little about the classes. Everyone keeps saying college is way harder than high school, and I’m not sure if my study habits are good enough. How do I stay on top of my work without getting totally stressed out?

And, I’m having anxiety about being away from home. This is the first time I’ll be on my own and I’m already feeling homesick. How do I deal with that and actually get comfortable in a new place?

I’d really appreciate any advice you’ve got.

Thanks,
A Nervous First-Year Student

Dear Nervous First-Year Student,

First off, I want you to know that everything you’re feeling is totally normal. Moving away to college is a big deal, and it’s okay to feel a mix of excitement and nerves. I’ve worked with a lot of students in your shoes, and trust me, you’ve got this. You will find your way and probably end up loving your new life and new “home.”

Let’s start with making friends. College is full of people who are in the same boat as you—everyone’s looking to connect and find their group, and yes, everyone is nervous and feeling awkward even if they don’t look like it. My advice? Be open to new experiences. Go to any events you find, especially this first week and month on campus. It will feel awkward, but it is DEFINITELY worth the effort. The most miserable college students who end up dropping out or moving back home are the ones that sit in their dorms because trying is too uncomfortable. Get uncomfortable. Check out some clubs or organizations on campus that interest you and try talking to people.

If you’re nervous to talk about yourself, then spend most of the conversation asking people about them. Studies show that people like others who ask about their lives more than people who talk about themselves all the time.  It will feel awkward at first, but most people will be relieved that someone else took the initiative. And give it time. Most people don’t find their place and their lifelong friends until their second, third, or fourth semester. Until then, just be proactive about being around people and you’ll find your crew.

When it comes to classes, it’s true that college can be more challenging, but that doesn’t mean you can’t handle it. The key is to stay organized and proactive. Set up a routine that works for you—maybe try studying in short bursts with breaks in between, or find a study group to keep you motivated. Don’t wear yourself out with 6-hour study sessions. These DON’T work. Create a routine of short study times and do them repeatedly. And don’t be afraid to ask for help if you’re struggling. Most professors and tutors really are thrilled to help, so take advantage of that.

As for the homesickness, it’s completely normal to miss home. What’s important is finding ways to make your new environment feel like your own. Decorate your space with things that remind you of home, keep in touch with family and friends, but also push yourself to explore and get involved on campus. I typically recommend a regularly scheduled check-in at home, maybe once or twice a week but NOT every day. The more you immerse yourself in college life, the more comfortable you’ll become.

Remember, this is a huge step toward your future, and while it might seem overwhelming now, you’re going to grow so much from this experience. All growth requires some difficult, awkward, even painful seasons. That’s why they’re called “growing pains.” Take it one day at a time, and don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re stronger than you think, and if you need more consistent help, you can always reach out to me!

Cheering you on every step of the way,

Kurtis
The College Success Coach